I have no idea what has caused this problem, but I cannot speak properly at the moment.

Friday afternoon (it is now Monday) was when I first noticed the problem, a slight slurring, which gave me a great deal of concern since my voice is kind of essential for my job (as well as being useful in other non vocational activities too of course from time to time). By Friday evening I was aware of a growing pain in my tongue down each side, sore spots that clashed against my rear teeth each time I talked.

This grew worse on Saturday - and I was, forgive the unpleasant image- sounding rather less pleasant than the Elephant Man's halfwit brother by the end of the day, plus it HURT.

Now Finn does not speak to a great many people in his day to day life but this was still an inconvenience. Plus I have no idea what caused this malaise. Perhaps I bit it in my sleep or something. BAH.

Anyway, yesterday was Sunday so I made sure I had my regular trip out and I decided to go get some ice cream at splendid little remote dairy farm that makes it on the premises.

I did my best to ask for a tub of banana flavoured ice cream, and the look on the poor woman's face was a picture.

She nodded thoughtfully and then replied very very slowly and clearly since I was obviously out on my own for the first time:

"Of course you can love. Would you like a big spoon too?"